It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. Rereading my last post I was sorely tempted to take it down, particularly as I have started meeting actual people in the real world again who might read this blog, but I decided not to. That would have defeated the purpose of the blog in many ways. I started this blog as a place for true stories, published under an alter ego, as the stories were not the sort appreciated or approved of by society at large. Of course they were intended to be sexy kinky stories, but those aren’t the only stories not approved of by society. Depression, or really any variety of fucked up, is kind’ve a taboo topic. Admitting it is seen as a weakness, a liability, or a warning sign. The fact is though, that uncomfortable as it is, it’s brutally honest and I’m going to let it stand.
The more that I talk to people, watch people, and have real conversations, the more I realize that the ‘status quo’ that people espouse and aspire to is fictional. The role models in film and novels are actually fictional, and people lie. Everyone lies about their struggles and about what particular things are fucked up about them. When I really get to know a person, I realize that they struggle with something that’s either similar to what I struggle with, or something that is equally fucked up in a different way.
I ran across this article, on Fet actually, which led me to the article which inspired his post. Here are both of those links. They’re both good reads. I don’t actually know these people, but I like what they wrote.
How To Be A Good Depressive Citizen by Ferret on theferret.com
Miles and Miles of No-Man’s Land by Libba Bray on libbabray.wordpress.com
That said, the last few months have been much better all things considered. I’m doing all the good healthy things, and I’ve taken up yoga. It’s hard to say how much progress has actually been made, but I’ve made progress in my uphill climb. I have a couple of naughty fictional pieces rolling around and probably about ready for publication.
The irony of ending on an upbeat, “a stiff upper lip, toeing the party line that we can all get through this if we all keep swimming,” note does not escape me. Am I a good depressive citizen or what?